Not only that, she sat quietly for about 20 minutes and read a book. Here’s my theory about all the stories men remembered: it’s basically “like attracts like.” The guy looking for a truly nice woman understands the importance of kindness, and is most likely a nice person himself.
When I woke up, she said she could see I was exhausted and thought I could use a quick nap. We’ve been married 46 years.”—Murray, age 85, Denver, CO Kind… Of course, there will be individual exceptions, but from what I’ve seen, the guys who stand the test of time-the ones who make the best husbands and continue treating you with respect after “I do”-are impressed during the dating phase by a nice person.
I sat down in this really comfortable leather chair, and while she was in the kitchen opening the wine, I actually fell asleep. Most gals would have taken offense if their date fell asleep on them. Or do they really, deep down, just want someone nice?The word “nice” gets a bad rap in our society today: I think it is often synonymous with “boring” (which was my own initial assumption! But from my research, I can assure you that marriage-minded men sit up and take notice of women who display kindness before any other trait.The rest of my 1,000 dating “exit interviews” highlight all the small comments and gestures to avoid during the early stages of dating when first impressions are so crucial.At first glance, Medellin women do not perceive me as a foreigner due to the way I look.So I do not have that instant “gringo effect” on them.As a dating coach and matchmaker, I’ve spent the past ten years conducting some unconventional dating research using a business concept called “Exit Interviews.” I interviewed over 1,000 men who were former dates of my clients, as well as strangers I approached in cafes or bookstores.I asked all these men what turned them on (and off) about the women they had dated.I might have guessed they’d say, “She seemed like she’d be a good mother.” Perhaps they might talk about mutual interests such as skiing or foreign films.Sure, all those elements probably factored into their attraction, but I discovered something else was actually credited with that initial “aha” moment.Most of my interview subjects were single, but over 100 of them were married or engaged, and they described to me the moment when they first knew a woman was special and had future-wife potential.I had assumed these husbands and fiancés would recall how beautiful their wife was, or how funny or smart she was.