Now, I’m not saying that there’s no way you can start dating him.And I’m not saying that if you start dating that he can’t work things out.I can’t tell you how many times I have had a client come into my office obsessing about the last person they dated.Once I get them out on a few dates they become distracted by all the fun they are having, and their mind opens up to the many possibilities that are out there for their future.
Just because he’s recently gone through a breakup or mentions that he’s stressed doesn’t mean that you don’t have something good between the two of you. Someone breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they immediately date someone else and then somehow it falls apart or becomes a bad situation.But I will caution that if you start dating him only two weeks after he broke up with a girlfriend of 10 months, you run several risks: 1) You risk that instead of working things out in his mind and making peace with the breakup, he will retreat from thinking about his stuff and perpetually be wrestling with his thoughts and unresolved issues.As long as you are in the relationship with him, he will be able to distract himself from dealing with the issues he really needs to deal with. When a guy hasn’t had a good amount of time to work out his issues, it’s very likely that he’ll go to the ex-girlfriend for one reason or another.I strongly believe that if you are talking about a man who is a relationship-oriented guy (meaning he is most comfortable being in a partnership and knows how to be a committed boyfriend/partner) he is not going to stay single for very long after a break up. That great guy will be off the market before you can even bat an eyelash.Why would you steer clear of such a winner just because he recently broke up with someone? Being dumped or ending a long relationship is so challenging no matter the circumstances, so why should you be forced heal from the loss alone?Believe me, I know that my take on the issue is controversial among other matchmakers and dating coaches. When someone feels happier and more comfortable in a relationship, why should they force themselves to stay single?By getting right back out there they will be saving themselves from sitting alone agonizing over what went wrong in their last relationship.I thought about your situation and there are a few things I wanted to touch on in my response.First, you mentioned that he was very stressed after having broken up his relationship of 10 months a couple of weeks ago.Hate to be blunt, but that’s the most likely scenario if he has a lot of unresolved issues from his breakup (or baggage, or loose ends, or whatever you want to call it.) If you can manage to step back gracefully and give him lots of space to really, truly work out his stuff, maybe in a month or two he’ll have it completely worked out and you two can start something on a virtually clean slate.You would have to be patient and really disciplined to give him that space, but it’s much much better than going through a relationship where you’re competing with the ghost of an ex.