I would then wake up with a smile on my face and just face the day whatever may come, no planning, no safety behaviours, no negative thinking about my situation, no going over something that someone did or said or how a situation went.
I am not saying from that day on everything was brilliant, it was not, but it was far, far better.
I made sure I got out in the fresh air and went walking, running, cycling, again a healthy body leads to a healthy mind.
I also cut my drinking down and felt so much better for this.
This is what I mean by looking back, I would constantly go over how things went and what I could of done better, then I would be looking into the future and plan certain things to make sure they went ok.But deep down I knew the real me was underneath all this, I mean I had lived for 25 years without anxiety and D.P and 10 years with it, so I had more deep down memory of normailty, I just had to reverse the procedure.All this mental planning was constant and it could be a simple trip out with friends or going round to a family gathering, I was obsessed how I as coming across and how things were going, then filling myself with negative thoughts about how bad my life was and how it was not fair that others could enjoy themselves and not me, more thoughts on how to fix it, my mind just never switched off.How I over came this was to say to myself that this was the last time I went over something that had happened and the last time I planned for something that was up and coming and more than that I would not entertain another negative thought.Firstly sorry for a bit of a disappearing act recently, as stated the App has taken up so much of my time and the book has shot up in sales with Amazon and certain shops now stocking it.Everything has taken off in the last year or so and it is hard work keeping up and I have to cut back on certain things.This new approach was a major breakthrough for me and I felt far more mentally free and even though at the time I was not a big believer in how close your thoughts were to how you feel, without all the negative bombardment of my situation I felt so much better.I can’t express how much not going down the road of self pity and negative thinking about how you feel is so important.I would just get out of the bath when most relaxed, lie on the bed and just put on a C.D or headphones and drift in and out with the soothing music and would feel so refreshed afterwards, I still do it to this day.