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Dating smart men

Even though I am 36, most of the people I meet would think that I am only 26.

Unfortunately, I have been through all kinds of online dates in the last two and a half years.

Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women - but don't actually like the reality of it.

That's according to researchers who carried out several studies into what men find desirable in women.

But there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest a strong correlation. And if good qualities come with bad qualities, have you considered that yours might as well?

So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.” I wrote about this in an article for entitled “Are You Honest… ” Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask.

Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits. Then on the next page were what you label downfalls, or what the test said was the way people who don’t think exactly like me may see me: pushy, intimidating, overbearing, restless, impatient, manipulative, abrasive, reactive & dominating. It was hard too facing the fact that though I didn’t see myself that way, some others did.

As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. I think it’s not that these smart, successful women are exactly those things either, but they are perceived that way by some – not all – of the men they come in contact with.

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You get the perks of having a girlfriend/boyfriend with a high IQ, but you are also subjected to the disadvantages of dating someone who knows more than you do.

Confused over whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing?

Learn the highs and lows of dating someone with an SAT score higher than yours, and ask yourself what you’d prefer yourself.

In fact, all of my female friends comment on what a great catch I am. Women reading this may feel bad for him, yet also want to him to know that it’s not BECAUSE he’s nice that he’s not attracting women. It’s because he constantly seeks the approval of others. It’s because he sacrifices his personal power to be conciliatory. These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge. The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.

These are common attributes of nice guys, yet nice guys think that women don’t like nice guys BECAUSE they’re nice. Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic.

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  2. Men are attracted to the idea of dating intelligent women - but don't actually like the reality of it. That's according to researchers who carried out several studies.

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