I e-mailed and he wrote back, “I had fun making out with you—if you’re ever up for some more fun, let me know.” So then I knew that’s all he really wanted. So what’s the difference between hooking up with a fetishist and just hooking up with someone casually?
No matter how many magazines start featuring plus-size women, in mainstream white culture, a woman who’s heavy isn’t considered as attractive as a woman who’s not.*** I was on a date recently and a woman sat down at the next table, catty-corner to me. But what’s most visible about me, what defines me before I even open my mouth, is my size.I was embarrassed and annoyed, already contemplating how I was going to get out at the end. I’ve dieted my whole life and can’t remember a time when I wasn’t concerned about my weight.And I’ve been contacted by men on BBW sites who ask me if I’m open to a feeding relationship, which I’m not.It means they want to be with somebody who likes to eat, who they can feed and would consider gaining a lot of weight. But I think there’s a fine line between someone who’s a fetishist and someone who’s not.Some of them were very heavy, but they were married and successful in relationships. I started out on Jdate but worried that maybe people didn’t fully see my body type, even though I never lied or showed a picture that wasn’t me.Some jerk once IMed and asked, “Are there really guys out there who are attracted to you?Ultimately everybody’s looking to get to the next level, and for many men in New York, a larger woman is the bottom level, regardless of what she’s like.There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.I’ve had really in-shape guys, bodybuilders even, contact me.I think they like the juxtaposition of hard and soft.