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Item Description: A squirrel which constantly moved much slower than normal, even when jumping or falling, similar to "slow-motion" video footage.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ███████ Family Campgrounds, ███████ Current Status: In animal containment.

Date of Recovery: █-██-19██ Location of Recovery: Hackensack, New Jersey Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ████, ███████ Current Status: In animal containment. Item Description: A small rock that emits a bright white light from an unknown source. Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ██████, ███████ Current Status: Currently in the possession of Dr. Item Description: A 1964 Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum Revolver.

When any ammunition is fired from the third chamber, an unidentified male voice will shout "Nice shot!

Item Description: An HB pencil which cannot be used to write, and only draws photorealistic images of Jimi Hendrix eating various foods.

Item Description: A .500 ███ ██████ sidearm that discharges all loaded cartridges as if they were blanks.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ██████████, ████ Current Status: In storage.

Accuracy or even proficiency with the firearm is not required for the anomaly to function.

Voice sounds whether or not the shot is, in fact, "nice". Only long-sleeve, blue, men's dress shirts with collar sizes between 15.5" and 16.5" can successfully be hung upon it.

766 comments

  1. The Russia-Trump collusion narrative is a gigantic case study in shitlib and Clintonista psychological projection, misdirection, and straight-up false.

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