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Invalidating mother

A healthier response, one which is both informative and assertive, without being aggressive, is to simply express your feelings clearly and concisely.

For example, you might respond, "I feel invalidated," "I feel mocked," or "I feel judged."One factor common to most people who self-injure, whether they were abused or not, is invalidation.

Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder", or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals" are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions.

A good guideline is: People with high IQ and low EQ tend to use logic to address emotional issues. This tends to alienate people and diminish their potential.

Telling a person she shouldn't feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn't be wet, grass it shouldn't be green, or rocks they shouldn't be hard. Whether we like or understand someone's feelings, they are still real.He found that when one's feelings are denied a person can be made to feel crazy even they are perfectly mentally healthy. Further, emotion inhibition significantly predicted psychological distress, including depression and anxiety symptoms.) (Reference)Invalidation goes beyond mere rejection by implying not only that our feelings are disapproved of, but that we are fundamentally abnormal.This implies that there is something wrong with us because we aren't like everyone else; we are strange; we are different; we are weird. The more different from the mass norm a person is, for example, more intelligent or more sensitive, the more he is likely to be invalidated.Examples of such relationships are parent/child, teacher/child, "spiritual" leader/follower, boss/employee, spouse A/spouse B.Such a sad scenario appears to be even more likely when the person being invalidated is highly sensitive, intelligent and has previously suffered self-esteem damage.They were taught at an early age that their interpretations of and feelings about the things around them were bad and wrong.They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed.A sensitive child who is repeatedly invalidated becomes confused and begins to distrust his own emotions.He fails to develop confidence in and healthy use of his emotional brain-- one of nature's most basic survival tools.Invalidation is to reject, ignore, mock, tease, judge, or diminish someone's feelings.Constant invalidation may be one of the most significant reasons a person with high innate emotional intelligence suffers from unmet emotional needs later in life.


  1. A few examples to illustrate Laughing/smirking at/ignoring the child when they are in physical pain/emotional pain inappropriate emotional responses Sarcasm - “Oh, you really showed that coat, didn't you.” when child has, for example, broken a.

  2. Parenting serves as an important environmental context for offspring of mothers with BPD. Theoretical models Linehan, 1993; Fruzzetti, Shenk, & Hoffman, 2005 posit that invalidating parenting experiences transact with a child's genetic vulnerabilities to put them at risk for poor psychosocial outcomes, including BPD and.

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