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Nev is basically like, I don't know how to deal with you when you retreat into your hair palace, but she doesn't want to tell him and steps out of the room. He finally follows Kim out to the yard, where she's sitting in a hammock with her head on her knees. Kim says she suddenly started feeling "warm" and "overwhelmed" -- in a good way: this is going so much better than she expected, and now she's speechless.Uh, maybe wait until you've seen the evidence before you have a joy meltdown, Kim.Then they get a call from Crystal, one of Matt's Facebook friends.While she doesn't recall Matt ever talking about his friend Kim in California, she does confirm that she met him a few years ago; thinks he's been "on and off" with a woman in Kissimmee, where he appears to live; and remembers him living in Sacramento for a while.She gets herself back up and returns to the computer, and when they tell her what Crystal told them about Matt's maybe-girlfriend, she doesn't look any different than when she was "overwhelmed" with happiness after her first glimpse of Matt.

After rocking back and forth for twenty minutes, Kim finally manages, "I'm not sure if I should even make a comment." She then goes full Cousin It.This time, Nev finds her on the bathroom floor, where she mumbles, "If he's real, why is he hiding? When Kim's recovered what passes for her composure, she states that she does still want to meet Matt, but that she's scared of flying, "so unless there's a different way to get there...." Hey lady, if you want to see the country by train, apply for an Amtrak residency like everyone else did; MTV hasn't got time for that shit! "Um, well, he's not ugly," Kim replies, in what I hope is her (weird) attempt at charming understatement. Matt pleads "brother just got out of surgery" and "I just got a new job," while inside, Max comments to Kim that he can't figure out why Matt isn't sending photos or trying to meet Kim: "Something is up." Kim: HMMMMMMMMMM. Somewhere around here is when Nev checks in with Mrs. Also, we briefly see Nev's mother, who I'm pretty sure is my age. The next day, Nev and Max call Kim to let her know they're on their way to the Airbnb to wait with her for Matt's flight to land, and she's all, sounds great, see you soon, in a very chirpy voice that doesn't betray that anything's amiss, which is why they're surprised when they arrive to see an apparently unfamiliar car in the driveway and a male butt getting out. Kim called him the night before in a panic, because there were "some things" she hadn't told Max and Nev; Kim needs to tell them herself, but she asked Joe to be there to support her.Nev suggests that they see if MATT will fly out to THEM, and no sooner has he stepped outside to call Matt does he remember that he has another, much better shot of Matt to show her. "I think he's stunning, to be honest," Nev overshares. Outside, Nev sweetens his offer of imposing on Matt a meeting with the woman he's been avoiding for five years by adding that if Matt wants it to happen, going to have to be the one to travel. AS IF CUED BY A PRODUCER INSIDE, Kim opens the side door and emerges...Nevertheless, she has taken a semester off college so that she can investigate schools in Florida with the intention of moving there to be with Matt.None offered, really; Kim seems ready to overlook a lot of bullshit because she and Matt have bonded over their rough childhoods and she values his advice. Well, she says she spent some time in juvenile hall.In the five years Kim's been texting Matt and talking to him on the phone -- starting when she was fifteen and he randomly sent her a Facebook message saying she was beautiful -- he's never sent her one photo of himself; however, that doesn't seem to have dampened Kim's ardor because these two sext.Matt and Kim planned two in-person meetings when they both lived in Sacramento, but he bailed on both.Before Joe can answer that, though, Nev jumps in to guess that Joe probably doesn't want Kim to move to Florida with their child, and Joe agrees that he doesn't. I'll give her some benefit of the doubt and guess that this stupid smile is an involuntary reaction to her embarrassment and not an indication that she thinks this gap in her reports to Joe is cute, but that doesn't excuse the fact that this is the kind of decision you KIND OF have to run by your child's co-parent before you start giving it serious consideration. Max recaps (leave it to the professionals), "Just add that to the list: this guy won't send you a picture, doesn't like kids, doesn't want to kids -- this is turning into more and more of a bad idea, Kim." She doesn't disagree -- because she can't -- but stupidly smiles through her stupid silence, like a stupid idiot."But you know that that's what they've been talking about, right? Joe takes Norma from her arms so that Kim can have her big summit with Matt and the crew.She goes on to say that one of their scheduled meetings was scuttled not by Matt but by Kim -- or, rather, by Norma, because Kim went into labour. "I mean, I've never met him, so I don't know exactly how he is in person." GREAT ANSWER, . Matt turns out to be Matt, and Kim is psyched but still extremely awkward.Max reiterates that Matt is on the record as not wanting kids, so does Kim think he could be a good father to Norma? Like, true, she hasn't met him, but she's been talking to him for FIVE YEARS. She can barely look at him as she talks, and Matt kind of looks like he regrets everything he's done to keep a relationship with this freak going as long as he has.


  1. Oct 9, 2012. caption id="attachment_54764" align="aligncenter" width="640" Matt & Kim photo courtesy of /caption. You'd usually apply the “minimalist” tag to avant-composers and seXXy goth sulkers, but since 2005, the pop-punk duo of Matt Johnson and Kim Schifino have done a bang-up job.

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